Lately I have been feeling extremely motivated and inspired to continue to create cool content for social media and maybe inspire other people too, with the peak of that inspiration hitting today due to the Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius (my sign). Regardless of the reason I feel like the only way is forward. I have been reflecting on my journey over the last 3 years to this exact moment.
It's crazy how far I have come confidence and positivity wise. I dedicate that to the closest people around me and the Law of Attraction which brought me to an entirely new reality. Exactly 3 years ago I was first introduced to the LOA and started researching it and slowly but surely it grew on me. In 2014 I was at rock bottom, wouldn't speak to anyone new which made me come across as a bitch and in fact repelled people from me, the complete opposite of what I needed. I referred those feelings of confusion and hopelessness to self harm; both the mental and physical kind. I didn't know what my purpose was. I couldn't find anything I was good at. The first thing that I actually excelled at was writing poetry which was sealed tight in the pages of my notebooks.
One of my first pieces of writing.
Around the same time I was in a complicated relationship, my first serious one though it wasn't even that serious. It's fair to say I really put a lot of pressure on that boy to show me how to love myself while I hated myself. It was very destructive and I damaged him. I also made a best friend for life at the end of that year, he has stuck by my side until now through every high and low I experienced and vice versa.
As I was in that completely detrimental mindset, things naturally started going terribly wrong for me. Firstly I had the WORST ever relationship with my parents and on top of that, the people I called my friends treated me with a hideous manner. I felt like the most lonely person on the planet. Basically things were constantly shifting between foreground (another word for average in this context) and horrendously bad until late 2015.
That year I went on a trip to Sicily with my family and after the summer things actually were looking up for me, the peak of my happiness was definitely at the end of the year when I made new friends and finally became confident enough to speak up, slightly.
2016 was definitely a year of tremendous self-growth from day one. I learned a lot about myself, I explored various topics that interest me and went far with the discovery of the amazing things the universe has to offer. The start of the year was pretty by-the-breeze with a few slip ups between my parents and I. I was pretty happy with my friends too. The trouble started mid-July when I was introduced to the boy who became a big part of the start of the immunity to those who are out to get you. It's fair to say everything he did was filtered, only showing me exactly what I wanted to see. I knew I would get hurt and I took the risk. Long story short he took my virginity and stayed with me until things got a little harder and then he cheated on me. It broke me completely but it built the wall of immunity. It taught me to look out for myself first, always.
This led me to meeting the wonderful boy that is currently in my life whom I'm utterly in love with. We spoke for about 2 months until we actually lost contact due to stress, after 3 weeks he came back and we hit it off 5x stronger. We have been together for 5 months now. Whenever we are apart for a long time, something will happen to make us question what the point is and then we grow closer and are able to put it into practice when we are reunited. For me, it's the undeniably the perfect relationship. We learn a lot from each other and hopefully will learn much more with lots of time to come.
It's currently Monday the 7th of August in 2017 and I couldn't be happier with the course that my life has taken. I finally found my purpose; creating content. I'm surrounded by like-minded individuals who help me explore and challenge me to be better each day. I'm so confident and comfortable with myself. My relationship with my parents is at an all time high, even after the argument we recently had, due to the fact I no longer look at things like that from the permanent eye. Im completely myself.
What would happen to the direction of your life if you embraced yourself, completely the way you are?
-Wiki Kowalczyk 🙂