Here We Are Again…

This is getting absolutely ridiculous. A few days ago I wrote about how I have finally found peace and happiness within myself and my relationship. Well over the last 24 hours my world caved in on me.

My boyfriend announced to me he isn’t happy with me anymore. Just like that. No explanation. No compromise. He asked for a break but then it became apparent this is a lot more than just a few days off. I’m so heartbroken and sad. When it all begun my stomach caved in. It felt like I was falling with no destination and when he told me he wanted a break I knew I couldn’t go about it like that.

I don’t believe in breaks, why? Because you are a team and you have to work out your differences and put them aside. Sometimes you might need space and time to think things through. You might not even talk to your significant other for a period of time but that doesn’t mean you have to break up. That just gives the one person leverage over the other. “Breaks” are just very suspicious to me and personally I think it’s the cowardly way out.

The next days or weeks will be the time of forced recovery. I want to mop around in my bed. I want to be sad and listen to James Arthur but I can’t really let myself do that. I mean, undoubtedly I will and I have over the last day but I don’t want to over dramatize anything. Yes we broke up and yes it’s the hardest thing I went through in the last 2 years but I know myself too well to know that when I give into it I won’t get out for a very long time. I want to focus on my writing more than anything at the moment.

Thank you to anyone who has messaged me and shown their support. I appreciate it so much.

-Wiki Kowalczyk